After over 2 years from dipping in-and-out of OKCupid, it’s got gradually dawned into the me that every (not totally all, you nitpickers) women, 29-38, that pages on that site belong to five broad groups (zero pun intended):
Zero, the latest “Guyly-Guy,” depending on the ads wizards, is an unshaven, overgrown fratboy more likely to bellowing incoherently and you can high-fiving their Token Black Buddy more than just how shiny their vehicle try or how well kissbrides.com portal link he thinks his pisswater white alcohol choice
#1. New Whirlwind “Just take their passport, let’s traveling!! In which? Any-fucking-where! It doesn’t matter, due to the fact I am form of a blank shell, and you can constant motion is superior to resting still and experiencing the fresh new roaring gap that’s my personal identity!” Skiing from the wintertime, wakeboarding in the summer, the newest Whirlwind doesn’t have determination getting soft, inactive reflection, it’s go-wade-wade. She’ll cost you to your a young grave if you attempt to keep track their particular, that’s good ’cause your own early passing brings their particular longer to have material-hiking and you will trips so you’re able to Ireland.
#dos. New Girly-Girl She matches most of the stereotypes. They are girls the “oppressed guys” inside beer adverts will always be trying to escape from, sufficient reason for valid reason. Particularly noteable due to their absolutely appalling liking in all different preferred culture, their Digital video disc cupboards are groaning which have titles such as Dirty Dance and you may The notebook, and their mp3 playlists are chock-full regarding Jack Johnson, Keith Urban, and Colbie Caillat. They are smart, nevertheless they never ever display screen an iota out of mental curiosity. (Warning: She’ll ultimately turn into The Castrating Shrew, but that’s yet another band of groups.)
Therefore zero fits for me
[Side Mention: I thought brand new “Girly-Girl” was good Madison Avenue cliche, a creature established solely because an enthusiastic antagonist on the a lot more than-stated adverts, but these include certainly around. I guess their contrary count is the “Peoplely-Man,” but it is not any longer the fresh new rugged, square-jawed Marlboro People form of. ]
#3. The new Pretentious Grad Pupil She could have finished way back, but do not remaining the newest mentality about. Very, most brilliant – way more very than simply your, yes, your scruffy screw – but has never laughed out loud within the an excellent pet’s decades. (A really pithy Jon Stewart quip otherwise trenchant The latest Yorker anime can get mark a beneficial wry smirk.) Discovering listing includes significant quantities to the socio-political affairs, or Gabriel Garcia Marquez books. She pays attention to help you jazz, otherwise Brazilian men, or any sort of arises with the NPR’s Outdoors you to definitely go out (who may have returning to tunes whenever there’s explanations?) She wants Thai dinner, or is vegan, otherwise Goodness allow us to, vegetarian. She often enjoys a small amount of the brand new Whirlwind in her own, viewing an occasional refrain toward “real” society out-of Europe, otherwise specific oppressed Latin american banana republic. Their unique Twitter profile picture for another 18 months would be her before particular Mayan spoils in oversized sneakers and a great hemp rucksack. Basically, she is completely insufferable.
#4. The brand new “I’m-Just-A-Country-Girl” Entire lotta these hiding doing. She is the owner of Tim McGraw and you will/or modern Religious Cds (hasn’t ordered an ipod yet). Keeps hiking. Probably voted having Bush, double, whether it taken place to help you her so you’re able to vote anyway. Foolish once the a fucking fencepost.
We frequently fall between the splits (once more, no the) of those classes. The latest 21-twenty-eight 12 months olds possess her selection of groups, that are embryonic types of all above (the only variation ‘s the 29-38 season olds have pretty good efforts), with the addition of People Girl, Faux-Hippie Girl, and you will Commonly-I-Nerdy/Weird?-Girl.